SELF CONTROL
A. INTRODUCTION
Temperance or self control is listed as a fruit of the Spirit, in Galatians 5:23. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance (Galatians 5:22-23). The Bible says that we must keep the body in subjection. There is generally a conflict between the spirit and the body of man. In the lowest form of animals, the body rules the whole being. In man, the mind rules the whole being. As man grows and matures spiritually, the spirit begins to rule him, overruling the body and the mind.
B. WHAT IS SELF-CONTROL?
Self-control is the ability to resist and overcome all temptations. In Galatians 5:23, the term that is used for self-control, is temperance. Because the carnal man is naturally sinful, he always has a tendency to yield to the temptations, to satisfy the fleshly desires. By nature, man seeks pleasure and avoids pain. Man tries to find pleasure through his five physical senses, such as the sense of taste, sense of sight, sense of hearing, sense of smell and sense of touch. By nature, man likes to eat good food, see beautiful things, hear good music, smell sweet fragrance and touch soft things. Because man is endowed with a moral conscience which dictates to him as to what is right and wrong, he is in a dilemma as to whether he should do it to satisfy the flesh or avoid doing it as dictated by his moral conscience. In addition to our moral conscience, we have also been given the Bible, a book of the Laws of God. Therefore now we have no excuse for doing anything wrong just to satisfy the flesh. In addition to the sins of the flesh, man is also prone to commit sin by thought. The Bible says that before man commits any sin, it is first conceived in his mind. In Genesis 6:5, it is written that during the days of Noah, every imagination of man was wicked and evil. Unless and until man develops an ability to resist and overcome all temptations, he is likely to live in sins through his thoughts and deeds.
Self-control may be defined or described as follows:
Temperance
Ability to resist or overcome temptation
Ability to do the right and refrain from doing the wrong
Setting a limit and staying within that limit
Not indulging in anything excessively
Keeping the body and mind in subjection
Controlling temper
Controlling emotion
Keeping one’s body in subjection
Allowing the spirit to control the body and the mind
Obeying the commandments of God
Controlling appetite
Controlling thoughts
Controlling speech
Controlling actions
Self discipline
Maintaining stability and balance
Not overreacting in any situation
Not getting out of control
Being in the center of God’s will
Setting up a standard, evaluating the performance and taking
corrective action
Keeping one’s word and commitment
Being able to do what we should do and want to do
In order to grow in the dimension of self-control one has to grow and mature spiritually. Jesus Christ had absolute self-control over His body and mind. He never committed any sin. He was perfect in every way. He was moving with the spirit and was doing the will of the Father. He was able to discern God’s will and flow with the Spirit of God, exercising absolute control over His thoughts, speech and actions.
C. WHY SHOULD WE HAVE SELF-CONTROL?
Self-control is very important to every Christian and more so to every Christian leader, to live a good Christian life and to have a good testimony. This is a spiritual fruit that every mature Christian is supposed to bear. Some important reasons why we should have self-control are listed below:
To have a good testimony
To avoid committing sin
To conform to the image of Jesus
To obey the commandments of God
To live a holy and righteous life
To do the right and avoid evil
To live a disciplined life
To maintain good health
To accomplish one’s goals in life
To avoid getting impatient and angry
To overcome temptations
To avoid over indulgence in anything
D. WHAT SHOULD BE CONTROLLED?
Having discussed generally what self-control is and why we should exercise control, we should examine some specific areas where one should exercise self-control.
1. CONTROLLING OUR TONGUE
Some people are not able to control their tongue. They talk too much or say things that they should not say. Very often people get into trouble because of their tongue, and they even regret for saying things that they should not have said in the first place. Sometimes they even make a decision to talk very little but they are unable to exercise self-control. James 3:2 says that, if any offend not in word, the same is a perfect man. James 1:26 says that, if any one does not bridle his tongue he deceives his own heart and his religion is in vain. James 3:8 says that, it is very difficult to tame or control one’s tongue. One needs a lot of self-control to control what one says, when one says, and how much one says. How much one controls his tongue, so much he can guard his life.
2. CONTROLLING OUR ACTIONS OF BEHAVIOR:
Many people commit sin because of lack of self-control. The very first sin man committed was to eat the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve could not resist or overcome the temptation of eating the forbidden fruit. The more attractive something is, the more self-control we need to overcome it. When Jesus Christ was tempted three times with some attractive offers, He had no difficulty in handling these temptations, because He had absolute self-control over His body, mind, spirit and emotion. When Joseph was tempted by Potiphar’s wife he had no difficulty in overcoming the temptation because he had self-control. When thirty pieces of silver was offered to Judas to betray Jesus Christ, he fell for it because he had no self-control. When David saw Bathsheba, he was tempted to marry her. He could not resist the temptation. When some gifts were offered by Naaman, Elisha’s servant Gehazi could not resist the temptation. He lacked self-control to refuse to accept any gift from him. Ananias and Sapphira had temptation to hold a part of the price of the property they sold, because they lacked self-control.
3. CONTROLLING OUR TEMPER
The Bible says that we should be patient and not get angry very soon. Many people lose their temper very soon. The other expressions that are used to refer for getting angry or losing one’s temper is, ‘losing one’s cool’, blowing one’s stack’, ‘being provoked’, ‘getting upset’, ‘getting annoyed’, ‘getting impatient’, ‘getting irritated’ and ‘getting mad’. The Bible says that love is not easily provoked. When a person is in a state of anger, he is likely to do things, which he may not otherwise do. Self-control is necessary to control our temper and our emotion.
4. CONTROLLING OUR SLEEP
Jesus told his disciples to watch (stay awake) and pray. Many people have to exercise self-control in the area of sleep, because they tend to sleep for more hours than they should. They may even make decisions repeatedly to get up early in the morning, but because of lack of self-control they are not able to keep their decisions. If we decide to get up from bed at 6.00 a.m. we should be able to get up at that time. This needs self-discipline and self-control.
5. CONTROLLING OUR EATING HABITS
This is another area where one should exercise a lot of control. Some may have to exercise control over the frequency in which they eat. Some may have to exercise control over the amount of food they eat. Some may have to exercise control over the kind food they eat. Some may have to exercise control over the speed at which they eat. When people have problem in any one or more of these areas they must first recognize the problem and then they must do something about it. They must exercise self-control in the areas in which they have a problem. There is a direct relationship between one’s eating habits, health and length of life.
6. CONTROLLING OUR SPENDING HABITS
This is another important area in which one should exercise self-control and some caution. One of the important reasons why people have financial problems is the way they spend their money. Many have temptations to spend money on things that they should not spend for and spend more money than they should. The answer to these problems is self-control. Jesus said ‘beware of covetousness’. When we covet something and then go out of the way to get it, we are violating God’s law. The remedy to this problem is self-control.
7. CONTROLLING THE USE OF OUR TIME
Our life is our time and our time is our life. When we spend our time we spend our life. Therefore it is very important to exercise control over the time we spend over everything. One of the problems that many of us face is that we do not have time for certain things, which are important to us. One of the reasons for this problems is that we spend too much of time on certain things. Because we cannot change the pace of the clock, we have to change the pace of our life.
8. KEEPING OUR WORD AND COMMITMENTS
It is very important that we keep our word and commitments. What God has promised He always performs. The Bible says that heaven and earth may pass away but His word will never pass away. Some people make promises but they never keep them. Some make commitments but they do not keep them. It is very important that we exercise control over all areas of our life. In order to have a good report and a good testimony, being fair and honest with others, we should keep our word and all the commitments and promises that we make. We should say what we mean and mean what we say. We must also carefully make a note of all the commitments we make, and periodically review them until we carry them out. Some people are so careless, forgetful, irresponsible, fraudulent and deceptive that they do not care to keep their words and commitments.
9. CONTROLLING OUR SPIRITUAL LIFE
We must exercise adequate control over all key areas of our spiritual life such as prayer, reading the Bible, praising and worshipping the Lord, attending church services and programs, giving our tithes and offerings, witnessing and winning souls, bearing the fruits of the spirit, being filled with the Holy Spirit, doing the works of Jesus Christ, living by faith, loving our neighbor, keeping the commandments of God, having joy and peace, living a holy and righteous life, overcoming temptations and exercising self-control.
We must set the highest scriptural standards in these areas and maintain them in our lives. If we lose self-control and become slack in these areas, the quality of our spiritual life will tend to deteriorate. As we grow in the dimension of self-control and self-discipline, we will be able to achieve our goals in all areas of our spiritual life.
10. CONTROLLING OUR ACTS LEADING TO GOAL
ATTAINMENT
If we have no goals in life, that means we must set some realistic, attainable, meaningful and challenging goals in life and constantly strive to attain them. When once we set some goals, all our efforts must be directed towards the attainment of these goals. If we do not exercise control in the areas of goal attainment, the chances of attaining our goals in life will be very slim. Therefore it is very important to exercise self-control or to control all our thoughts, words and actions, to accomplish our goals in life.
E. HOW SHOULD WE EXERCISE SELF-CONTROL?
In order to exercise control over anything, we should follow these three steps: (1) Set a goal or a standard (2) Evaluate or measure your performance; and (3) Take necessary corrective action. One of the reasons why many people are not able to do or exercise any or adequate control over anything is that they do not set a standard or goal. Some examples of standards and goals that we may set in different areas of life, that we should control, are given below:
RESPONSIBILITIES STANDARDS OR GOALS
Prayer Three times a day
At least for an hour in the morning
Prayer with fasting Once a week
Bible Reading Two chapters a day
Memorize one verse
Fruit of the Spirit Never get angry
Forgive everyone that offends you and give
something to someone every day
Sleeping hours Not more than eight hours per day
Spending Money Prepare a budget and follow it
Spending our time Spend at least one hour with the family
every day
After setting goals in all important areas of life we should periodically check and see if we are able to attain these goals. If not, we should take some action immediately to correct the situation and to attain our goals consistently.
In order to exercise self-control over anything, it is important that we strictly follow the steps given below in that sequence:
1. Make some decisions
2. Set some measurable goals
3. Develop and pursue a plan to achieve the goals
4. Evaluate your performance
5. Compare your performance with your goals
6. Take necessary corrective or remedial action
If you consistently fail to achieve your desired goals, seek spiritual help such as prayer, counseling and deliverance.
F. CONCLUSION
Until and unless our spirit man grows and attains the stature and the fullness of Jesus Christ, we cannot have total self-control. The spirit of man must control the body and the mind. Normally the physical or the carnal man tries to dominate. As the Word of God says, the whole body must be brought under subjection and the spirit must rule the whole being of man. In every human being there is a constant struggle or conflict between the flesh and the spirit. Total self-control is ‘following or obeying all the laws and commandments of God’. Self-control in a narrow sense, is resisting and overcoming the temptations one faces in one’s life. In order to gain this self-control, first of all we should have the knowledge of the Word of God on this subject. Secondly, we should follow the guidelines given in the Word of God. Thirdly, we should evaluate ourselves constantly and see if we are gaining or losing self-control in all areas in which we should have self-control. Finally, if we cannot grow in these spiritual dimensions, we must seek spiritual help such as prayer, counseling and deliverance.